| hey girlies. |
[May. 15th, 2008|11:47 pm] |
Today wasn't good. But it wasn't as bad as yesterday n this whole week. Haha. Ok, so I have a question. Which pill works better 2 make u pass out? Cuz I just got hoodia (yay!) and I want to get pills for when I can't sleep. Seriously, its so annoyin. So... need ur opinion. K, love u! <333 |
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[May. 15th, 2008|06:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
So, i took the pregnancy test....
and
and
and
...................
....................................
im Not Pregnant ='[ |
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[May. 15th, 2008|06:34 pm] |
does anyone have skype? its like this free computer to computer phone and message and video downloadable program that allows you to connect with people world wide at no charge. you can hear their voice, see them, or just chat threw messaging. and we can also create a chat that allows more than one person to communicate at the same time by voice, its like three way but liike 20 way hhaha just as long as you have a microphone to connect into your computer, like my laptop that has a built in microphone and camera.
i think it would be cool to all communicate threw that in a chatroom... like we would just hear each others voices only, for the people (including myself) that dont want to be "outted" you know what i mean. but i dont know its just a thought <3 |
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[May. 16th, 2008|12:29 am] |
Had the worst day ever!!
i went shopping and took my prom dress back cos it does not flatter my fat at all!
so my parents were pissed, they have been horrible to me alll dayy!! dad made me cry in the shopping center like twice
am sick of the way he talks to my mother!!! ughh!
so shopping center was closing and a i got a prom dress from warehouse nd its not even fancy compared to what other girls are wearing so practically i ffeel shit!!!!!
my tan has gone orange and patchy on my legs!!!
i was doing great on my fast until we came home from shopping and my dad was shouting in my face and yelling at me, nd my mam was pissed off cos i wouldnt eat nd she said that i should do it for her
so i sat and ate a potato some beans and too veggie sausages
:O the day before fucking prom! i ate!!! i can't believe they made me break that fast!
i hate my family life right now
so basically today i have had aprox 500 cals! ughhhh!!!!
going to gym tomorrow if am in a fit state to show this fucking tan off!!!! argh!
anyways hopefully prom dosnt go as bad i think it is going to be, even tho i know am gonna be the fattest ass there!!! ughh
so depressing!!
anyways long long post! gonna revise all night for my PE exam tomorrow! cos i havnt done any revision eeekk!
hope everyone is doing good
natasha xxxxxx |
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[May. 15th, 2008|07:30 pm] |
the new diets going pretty well, down two pound from yesterday. currently at 122, hopefully i'll be down to 118 by this weekend, and 110 by prom (june 3). it's a lofty challenge, but i have some strong motivation.
does anyone know how many calories are in a shrimp? like a jumbo shrimp? |
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[May. 15th, 2008|06:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
DAMN IT!!!!!
I think i know why i keep wanting to binge crave things....i think i might be pregnant...i went to Walmart and got a test...i couldnt resist getting a 1.75 quart of icecream and a king size heath bar and eating it all...wtf ....if im not pregnant im shooting myself ( not really ) |
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[May. 16th, 2008|12:15 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | disappointed | ] |
hey guys well 2morrow i will fast!! i will i will i will!!!! stay strong much love xxxxxxxxxxxx |
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| ... |
[May. 15th, 2008|04:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crappy | ] |
Fuck this,
I was doing okay,
But lately I have been binging non-stop.
I can't control myself now,
Everyday i just eat more and more and more.
I'm never full,...
I could eat forever and still not be full...
I can't take this anymore,
I'm such a failure, what the fuck is wrong with me?
Where the fuck is all my self control?
I'm just so crazy right now,
If anyone'd be interested in talking/ starting a plan/ w.e
my msn is enya_slaton@hotmail.com .
I just feel like i'm stuck in this rut,
I just feel so depressed and hopeless and dissapointed in myself,
I feel like maybe if i have someone to do this with,
Maybe it will help me to stay motivated more?
idk, but any support would be greatly appreciated.
=(
hope you all had a great day, ss <3 |
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| such a fat pig |
[May. 16th, 2008|01:06 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | disappointed | ] |
i hate me!!!!i just wanna close my eyes and stop feeling my fat body!!!i hate me!! |
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| Pills |
[May. 15th, 2008|06:58 pm] |
Okay whenever I take anything that increases my energy
(diet pills, caffiene pills, adderall, and clariton but only in excess)
I get soooo paranoid.
My hair tickles my back and I jump up and freak out thinking it was a spider.
I'm just sooo jumpy.
It's weird.
Sometimes nothing even touches me and I just FREAK OUT because I think some roach is crawling on my feet or in my bed.
Anyone else with similar feelings?
Seriously what is going on? |
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[May. 15th, 2008|03:58 pm] |
also.
i dont know if anyone would appreciate this
but i know its old,
loving "show your bones" album
haha. i wanna do thaaaat!! |
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| Green Tea |
[May. 15th, 2008|06:55 pm] |
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So the first time I went into "recovery" my metabolism was still pretty good. Now, it seems like it is non-existent. I have been reluctant to start drinking green tea cause I normally don't like it and I am still nursing a 6 month old...but I found the Lipton one and I actually like it. Anybody think it really works?? My husband is working night shift so I am psyched to actually be able to be on here for awhile.... |
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[May. 15th, 2008|03:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
i was just wond ering what peoples boday fat % was.
mines pretty freaking high, actually though, im at 18%
also, perks, does anyone take them?\
do they help you not eat/.
i think if i was feelin good i wouldnt want to binge
but on a brighter note its gorg out. |
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[May. 15th, 2008|06:42 pm] |
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So, I met with my psyatrist (Isuckatspellingbtw), who is such an asshole.
(she wrote me the wrong perscription... LOPNGSTORY) anyway..
She was saying she was researching eatingdisorders more, and she knew of someone in my area who was doing a study on eating disordered patients (mostly bulemics) having ADD.
She was considering me for the study. (I would totally LOVe the adderol)
I was just posting this because i noticed alot of people on this sight menioned ADD exc.
I feel i mayyy have it.
But only slightly.
The thing i dont think that people understand is that.
ED patients might not have ADD,
The reason they have trouble concentrating in class
is because they cant stop THINKING about FOOD.
dsljfsdlgkjlfg! |
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| not ed related. i need advice. |
[May. 15th, 2008|06:28 pm] |
have you ever worked so hard for something, and then decided you don't want it as badly as you thought? my school is built almost on a caste system. if you're in college prep (regualr classes) you're not smart. if you're in honors 2, you're pretty smart and when your in honor's 1, you're golden. i'm in college prep and have been working my tail off to get moved up. yesterday, my english teacher pulled me out of class and told me how she told them i should be in honors and how i probably will get elected to at the board hearing. now i'm freaking out because i don't want to stress, and i was jsut getting used to everyone in my class.
also, the same thing happened to me romanticly. i was crushing on this boy soo badly and he pulled the rug out underneath me and said he wanted to just be friends after5 months of 'talking'. so finally a couple months later i realize he's a cool guy and always makes me feel good so i can sacrifice my feelings and be friends with him instead. we talk all of the time now. and im not sure if i like him or not. i just get freaked out about commitments.
i should be so happy right now and i'm not. what's wrong with me? |
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| Non-ED Related |
[May. 16th, 2008|08:20 am] |
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can someone explain to me what Corpus Christi is?? |
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| i always.. |
[May. 15th, 2008|05:12 pm] |
feel that people stare at me because of how fat i am...
such a fatty fat ass
and
i'm DYING to try adderall!
is anyone on it? (legal/illegal)
i've always thought that i had ADD... |
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| NOT ED-RELATED |
[May. 15th, 2008|06:10 pm] |
Has anyone ever had a close friend basically say that they are in love with you.
So I was talking to my friend, and I've known him since forever, and I started talking about this guy I like and he started getting all defensive saying how the guy I'm into is a total jerk and all this.
Then he's like "I'd treat you better".
And I was like "What?"
And then started talking about how he's liked me for a while.
And it was so awkward, especially when he said he's kind of in love with me.
Then my phone rang, which happened to be my mom flipping out about why I wasn't home yet, so I gave him like a fast hug and left.
So yea, tomorrow should be really...weird.
And it's like I don't even know if I like him or not, ya know?
I never thought about him like that a lot.
But it's like once he's said he liked me, I kinda thought maybe I did.
But I'm so confused so. Yea. Advice would be helpful=] |
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| help for bulimics |
[May. 15th, 2008|11:08 pm] |
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i have a friend who goes to overeaters anonymous and says that it has saved her life. it works for ana too.
they have meetings all over the world
http://www.oa.org/index.htm
it is based on the 12 step program used in aa |
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